Why I Hate The Idea of “Romanticising”
Romanticising means to talk about or think of something or someone in a way that exaggerates their positive qualities. It is also to show, describe, or think of something or someone in a romantic way, which is not realistic or practical. For example, some people may romanticise the past and think that everything was better before, but they ignore the problems and difficulties that existed then. Some people may also romanticise their relationships and idealise their partners, but they may be disappointed when they face reality.
Personally, I dislike romanticising. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of romanticising things appeals to me because it creates a feeling of lightness, but my problem with it is that it can lead to an unrealistic view of the world.
This feeling that I have to romanticise everything led to a deep brain fog for two months while watching people on social media romanticising and documenting their peaceful slow living life. It took me a long time to snap back to reality and get rid of the brain fog I had for two months and beyond.
But you may ask, “Shekinah, you suffered from brain fog for just two months, isn’t that a short time?” Well, no. Absolutely not! I was in school when I suffered from brain fog while doing my projects, studying, and preparing for exams, and most importantly, my research paper which covered three of my school subjects.
I still believe that if I romanticise studying, I can get through my projects feeling light. But that idea of feeling light caused even more lightness in my head that I can barely think without being irritated. I remember thinking to myself, “Why can’t I romanticise properly when other people are doing it? What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? And how to romanticise properly?”
Here’s what I’ve realised. I live in a fast-paced environment. I study a science and math-heavy course that I cannot romanticise every moment of my life. When I want to take a rest, I read a book, play my piano or my violin, or sleep. But when I want to work, I want everything done as quickly as possible. Romanticising just creeps into my brain that:
“You need to do it elegantly.”
“You need to be more ladylike.”
“You need to slow down; you’re going a bit too fast.”
I was like, “Cut the crap, brain! You don’t know what I am doing. You don’t need to be interrogating right now. It’s not the time.”
Romanticising creates illusions for me that something is more attractive or interesting than it really is, and that’s my problem. When I am faced with a much more challenging circumstance, I can’t just sit or stand there and romanticise everything. No! I need to act immediately because I can’t stand being a slow person.
When it’s time to snap back to reality, a person that romanticises their life will feel sad that it’s not that colourful as it may seem. After realising the whole truth, we just slump back and feel defeated. And I don’t want you to do that. Make a way to solve that problem in a realistic way.
I admit that there are many pros to romanticising, like it can increase your motivation and interest in learning new things, pursuing your goals, and overcoming challenges. By romanticising your life, you can find inspiration and excitement in everything you do, whether it is studying, working, or having fun. It can make you appreciate the beauty and wonder of the world around you. By romanticising your life, you can notice and enjoy the little things that make life beautiful, such as nature, art, music, or people. You can also express your creativity and imagination in various ways, such as writing, painting, or singing.
Romanticising can help you cope with stress and challenges by focusing on the positive aspects of your situation. By romanticising your life, you can find meaning and purpose in every experience, even the difficult ones. You can also learn from your mistakes and failures and use them as opportunities to grow and improve. It can boost your self-esteem and confidence by celebrating your achievements and strengths. By romanticising your life, you can recognise and appreciate your own value and potential. You can also be proud of yourself for who you are and what you have done.
However, romanticising can make you ignore or deny the problems and difficulties that you face. By romanticising your life, you may avoid confronting the reality of your situation and the consequences of your actions. You may also neglect your responsibilities and obligations and lose sight of your priorities. It can create unrealistic expectations and standards that are hard to meet. By romanticising your life, you may set yourself up for disappointment and frustration when things do not go as planned or as desired. You may also compare yourself to others or to an idealised version of yourself and feel inadequate or dissatisfied. It can cause you to lose touch with reality and become detached from others. By romanticising your life, you may isolate yourself from the world and the people around you. You may also become self-absorbed and narcissistic and disregard the feelings and needs of others.
Romanticising means to express strong feelings of love or to have a lot of imagination and enthusiasm, especially about things that are not true or possible. I’m not saying that I hate romanticising, contrary to the clickbait title. But do you really want to live in a fantasy lifestyle where everything is well? I don’t think so.
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Chaleureusement,
Shekinah 👋🏻
