I Love Working Alone, My School Taught Me To
Do you find yourself in a situation where you are working alone on a group project? I know, it can be difficult.
This article is different from the others on this page; it’s not about productivity tips or educational resources, although there are some life lessons. I’m writing this to share my personal experience and thoughts on why school taught me that working alone is better than working with a group. If it’s a bit unstructured, I apologize, but I promise I’ve checked the spelling.
I always disliked group projects in school, especially when I was with people who didn’t work. Let me say that again: when I was with people who didn’t work. I’m friends with all of my classmates, and I don’t hate any of them. But do they all work hard? No, everyone works differently, and some people slack off.
I’m not sure why most of my projects require me to be with people who may be slacking off in school or just relying on others to “just work it off”. In essence, they follow the leader and produce mediocre projects.
Group projects shouldn’t be like this; teachers assign them so that we can learn from each other, give ideas, express our creativity, and bond while doing the project together. I wish this were the reality, but it’s not the expectation.
So, instead of actually loving group projects you are down to do it yourself, it’s like the meme:
I glad this meme actually exist, it signifies that I’m not the only one. Like literally, you guys, thank you. I appreciate your existence.
The difference when your working alone versus when you’re working in a group varies in different stages.
When you work alone, you don’t need to remind people to do their work to get their grades, you don’t need to remind them of their deadline, or stress about them not passing their work, or letting the teacher back you up because their souls are retiring from school. This is not effective work, truly and serenely peaceful.
When you work in a group, you manage everything. Like, I have to remind my classmates about the deadline, I need to remind them about their work, OMG the script for our presentation, or “If you won’t work I’ll tell Miss/Mister/Missus to kick you out of this group”, or when a group member says “Can I pass this tomorrow”, you’re like “NO! I SAID YOU PASS THIS TODAY!”. Now, this is stressful.
And to be honest, I just lie back and think, I really can’t do anything about this. No matter how much I remind then, waste all my saliva for inspirational speeches and the good of their grades, still, they don’t change. They are still being lazy.
In a group, however, managing tasks can be stressful. You may need to remind people of deadlines, scripts for presentations, and ensure everyone is doing their part. Even if you do all this, it can still be difficult to get everyone to work.
I have friends in school who want to be in the same group, but I often hope the teacher won’t allow it. Though this is not always the case, I still prefer to work alone.
I’ll be assertive when I say that I do have good friends with me in school that they say they want to be groupmates with me, and though I’ll just smile at them and say, “Yeah, I wish so too,” or “Yeah, me too,” hoping that teacher would not allow us to be together in groupings. Of course, this is not true all the time, but I honestly just wish I could just work alone.
When I was in school and we were discussing (or more like debating or negotiating) with my teacher about whether we should have that group project or not. I raised my hand and said, “Can we work alone, miss?” She denied saying, “No you cannot, if you do then the other members will surely not do the work.” I said, “It has the same effect in group work, miss. They still won’t work.” She insisted saying, “It is better for you to have groupwork because you group members will be forced to work. If they don’t, kick them out, they will work individually.”
And I was like, it doesn’t make any sense, if the purpose of the group project was to work with groups and when other members do not do their part and the group leaders will just kick them out for those members to do their work individually, what’s the use for the group project? I mean, I’ll let you guys process it.
To continue the story that group project did not push through.
Following that conversation with the my teacher and I, I noted the the phrase “better for you to have groupwork because you group members will be forced to work”. Call me an idiot for this but I haven’t thought about this ever since being with and in a group because all I do in the group is just to work and do all the work. So, being in a group, I normally don’t think about what are they gonna do? Are they gonna work? Are they going to contribute? and all that. No. I just work and don’t give it a second thought or question about not to work. If I had to do everything, I just have to do it.
But, I feel like group projects are meant for teachers to get students who are not taking school seriously with students who take school seriously because they want them to have grades and let other people do the work for them because “cooperation” is part of the grade. Now, I’ll be honest, I’ve lied about people having contribute in group projects just to get my grade.
I just honestly feel bad. Instead of learning to collaborate and brainstorm you become a liar, impatient, and hot-headed, with a bunch of simpletons.
With all of that negativity aside, of course, you learn a bunch of life lessons. Not those “do not trust other people”, of course not. Here are my lesson in dealing and being in group projects.
#1: Be a Leader
No matter the circumstances, be a leader. Believe me, your groupmates’ laziness won’t improve unless you take action. Passive-assertive reminders are effective, but don’t be too aggressive. Show that you are an alpha who knows what they’re doing, but do so in a respectful way. Otherwise, your groupmates will see you as arrogant. Aim for a balance between assertiveness and passiveness.
#2: Don’t View It in a Bad Light
When you’re with the worst of the worst, it’s easy to think negatively of them. Don’t do this. Instead, view them in a healing light. Don’t think of them as “the person who’s always absent,” but rather, “the person I’m going to make work and remind in a passive-assertive way.”
#3: There’s Still Hope, If Not, It’s Teacher Time
Be positive about their work and show them how it’s done. If they don’t respond, negotiate with your teacher to place them under “surveillance” or monitoring.
#4: Don’t Just Give Them Work, Show Them What to Do
Last year, during pandemic, I was absolutely hopeless about my groupmates with our reporting. With all those internal complaint and anger aside with my group, I texted my teacher about my concern.
“Good morning sir,” I texted, “I have a problem about my groupmates, I am really angry about how they are not working. Can I please ask an advice about how to deal with this?”
The next day he answered, “Good Morning, Shekinah. The one thing that you need to do is instead of just giving them work to do, show them how to do it.”
And this just makes more sense because if you give your groupmates what they are going to do, instead of how they are going to do it. It will discourage them and make then anxious about whether or not you will approve of it. So the next time you will task them some work to do, first assign them the work and give an in depth explanation about what to do?
Being in a group is very hard, and you will need everything in your power to make things right. I am an A+ student and it is hard for me to be with classmates who are couch potatoes. And if you have the same problem with me, I hope this article gave you some advice and relief that you are not alone.
Is there anything that I missed out? Please write your responses, I love to hear from you and your experience.
